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| Welcome all. Please feel encouraged to contribute to this board, whether you are documenting your own experiences or whatever else you feel may be relevant. Note that your email will not be revealed to anyone, and if you don't want to leave your real name then feel free to use a pseudonym. Thanks Phil phobiafree.org |
| by Phil on 18th-08-08 11:42 |
| on 30th-01-09 18:34, Derek said: |
| Hello everyone! I've read all or your posts and feel the utmost sympathy for your experiences. I, too, have a case of the "social phobes" that has thrown a monkey wrench into the workings of my life. Anxiety and panic are not fun! I attribute to them two painful realities: I work a job that leaves my soul screaming for satisfaction, and my wife recently left me for some turkey she met on the internet. Ha! I tried something the other night that has helped. I was at a meeting of teachers and we were going around the circle saying wonderful things to the three birthday gals present. Hello, anxiety! So I tried something different. I stayed as centered as possible and allowed the painful feelings to be. In other words I didn't fight them. I believe this advice was given in one of the other posts and I agree. This is also what they do in Zen Buddhism. The only way through a barrier, they say, is to BE the barrier with your whole body and mind. So, do your best to be your anxiety barrier, get to know it, get to that point when you welcome it. It's a form of self study that will lead to liberation. This has also helped me: after the so-called dreaded experiences I have been patting myself on the back for absolutely anything positive. Perhaps it's just the fact that I made an effort, even though I faltered and bumbled in all the usual ways. Perhaps it's for something as simple as having survived the experience. Soetimes I say to myslef, "it may have been a disaster, but i know that the experience will lead to future liberation, so I must continue to make my best effort." The point is: begin to train yourself to see the positive. It really helps to take off the edge. I think that if our hope is to find a quick solution then we may feel only defeat everytime. All of us would do well to accept that it is a journey to liberation that may take a long time. Also think on this: your true self is not a flawed, fearful being. That is only our confusion trying to conceal our true self. Have faith in your true nature as inherently free and loving and then move toward it. Websites such as this are a great source of encouragment and support when our efforts seem fruitless or our depression seems to much to bear. When this happens, tap back into your support group. Compassionate, understanding people are out there and will help. Now I'll just tell you a little bit about myself: Presentations or speeches make me want to flee into the woods! My mind goes blank and I feel like the biggest idiot! I avoided college majors, jobs, careers, or various social events that entailed public speaking or socializing (thus my phobia). But I want desperatley to serve children by becoming a Waldorf School teacher. To make this a reality, however, I have no choice but to deal with my phobia. There is so much group speaking and singing and being in plays, it's unbelievable! And to top it off, I'll have to go to graduate school to make it happen. Do you know what happens in graduate school? Very smart people give presentations to each other all the freaking time! Makes me want to go hide in the woods! To all of you I wish to end by saying you are never alone. There is always someone out there who suffers as we do. Do your best to comfort and reassure them, even if it is in just sharing your own fears. It will help to heal your heart and give you more courage. One Love, and may your lives go well ~Derek |
| on 30th-01-09 18:35, Derek said: |
| Hello everyone! I've read all or your posts and feel the utmost sympathy for your experiences. I, too, have a case of the "social phobes" that has thrown a monkey wrench into the workings of my life. Anxiety and panic are not fun! I attribute to them two painful realities: I work a job that leaves my soul screaming for satisfaction, and my wife recently left me for some turkey she met on the internet. Ha! I tried something the other night that has helped. I was at a meeting of teachers and we were going around the circle saying wonderful things to the three birthday gals present. Hello, anxiety! So I tried something different. I stayed as centered as possible and allowed the painful feelings to be. In other words I didn't fight them. I believe this advice was given in one of the other posts and I agree. This is also what they do in Zen Buddhism. The only way through a barrier, they say, is to BE the barrier with your whole body and mind. So, do your best to be your anxiety barrier, get to know it, get to that point when you welcome it. It's a form of self study that will lead to liberation. This has also helped me: after the so-called dreaded experiences I have been patting myself on the back for absolutely anything positive. Perhaps it's just the fact that I made an effort, even though I faltered and bumbled in all the usual ways. Perhaps it's for something as simple as having survived the experience. Soetimes I say to myslef, "it may have been a disaster, but i know that the experience will lead to future liberation, so I must continue to make my best effort." The point is: begin to train yourself to see the positive. It really helps to take off the edge. I think that if our hope is to find a quick solution then we may feel only defeat everytime. All of us would do well to accept that it is a journey to liberation that may take a long time. Also think on this: your true self is not a flawed, fearful being. That is only our confusion trying to conceal our true self. Have faith in your true nature as inherently free and loving and then move toward it. Websites such as this are a great source of encouragment and support when our efforts seem fruitless or our depression seems to much to bear. When this happens, tap back into your support group. Compassionate, understanding people are out there and will help. Now I'll just tell you a little bit about myself: Presentations or speeches make me want to flee into the woods! My mind goes blank and I feel like the biggest idiot! I avoided college majors, jobs, careers, or various social events that entailed public speaking or socializing (thus my phobia). But I want desperatley to serve children by becoming a Waldorf School teacher. To make this a reality, however, I have no choice but to deal with my phobia. There is so much group speaking and singing and being in plays, it's unbelievable! And to top it off, I'll have to go to graduate school to make it happen. Do you know what happens in graduate school? Very smart people give presentations to each other all the freaking time! Makes me want to go hide in the woods! To all of you I wish to end by saying you are never alone. There is always someone out there who suffers as we do. Do your best to comfort and reassure them, even if it is in just sharing your own fears. It will help to heal your heart and give you more courage. One Love, and may your lives go well ~Derek |
| on 18th-03-09 07:49, Dee said: |
| Derek, Thank you. You gave me a good chuckle. Yes, I want to be a teacher too and I am trying really hard to get over my social phobia so that I can teach. It's getting though. I'm taking online classes and my last class I had to do a presentation and videotape myself in front of one person. I chosed my sister. I was sooo nervous in front of her that I messed up a few times but after each mess up , I got better. While doing my speech, I could feel myself burn up, sweat, turn red, and stutter. I got through it though. I watched the video and was like,,,hmmmm,,,I didn't look nervous or red. Why was I even dreading it. I'm soo weird!!!! I watch my video sometimes just to get comfortable with me and it seems to work..... -Dee |